Who can wipe away the tears...From broken dreams and wasted years
Who can wipe away the tears
From broken dreams and wasted years
And tell the past to disappear? Oh
Let me tell you 'bout my Jesus
- Anne Wilson
Hallelujah. Amen. That's not only a part of Anne Wilson's hook, that is my response to these lyrics that ring so true in my spirit. My Savior, my Jesus is so gracious in His love for all of us. As you know if you been around me for more than two minutes, I want the whole world to know the love that changed my life. The transformation from depression to real joy is one that keeps me fired me up. I was sick of the merry-go-round of being hurt and not trusting people. A few years ago, before I became this fabulous content creator, I was working a traditional job and spending a lot of time in my car commuting. As I rode up and down the highway I thought a lot about my life and what I wanted. I knew I needed to do something different, I just didn't know how. I was still going to church, but my heart wasn't all the way in it and I just felt empty.
I cried a lot during this time- my heart ached for change. I felt like I was wasting time in this endless cycle of chasing money. What a difference an encounter with Jesus makes! Wow. It's kind of hard to explain, but when it happens you know it. I made up in my mind that I wanted Jesus in a real way, not the fake stuff. Saying that in my heart and meaning it opened a door that has never been closed since. Jesus turned my life upside down! But it was all for good. I wouldn't trade this new me for anything in the world. And I think my husband and family would agree with me.
A while back I was being interviewed by a fellow podcaster and speaking about my former life versus the new resurrected me. I told him that back then I wasn't making any positive impact on anyone and I didn't feel like my life was going anywhere during that time. He interjected that given the fact that I was working every day, paying taxes, making a living wage, and being a "responsible adult " that my life was still meaningful. It was his show so I didn't push back a lot and he has a unique immigrant experience that I don't share so I let it be. But the fact of the matter is in terms of Christian birthright, assignment, and purpose I really didn't have much going on at all. Of course I would still pray for any and everyone, I would do my best to speak encouraging words it was when I wasn't in a foul mood. But if we had to put a number on it, it would probably be somewhere around 12 out of a 100. As far as what God called me to do I was not even in the ballpark.
But I love what another minister said- I can never let God down. I missed the mark, but He made the ultimate sacrifice for those of us that missed the mark, those of us that could not attain righteousness on our own. Coming into the knowing that I am always loved always supported and knowing that I'm always protected even in my shortcomings was huge for me. Nothing against my family but that was not the culture or that I was raised in. As a child I was praised when I did well and berated when I didn't. To connect me with my Father in Heaven who never operates like that is nothing short of amazing. My Jesus.