The money you're makin'
Leaves you nervous and shakin'
'Cause at night you're awake and
Thinkin' bout lives that you're takin'
All the love you're forsakin'
-Erykah Badu
OH MY GOODNESS! If there is any artist in the world that I could just go through and dissect her entire catalog it's Erykah. The Queen Badu is it for me. I am a fan. Seriously love what she does. Her vibe, dress and creativity are so unique and unmistakably her that you have to admire her. I haven't seen a lot of interviews that she's done, but just listen to her words I know that she has had struggles. Even in stepping away from the business for years then returning after having multiple children. She had lost nothing. In coming back so strong it felt like she had done the work and as a woman it makes me feel brave and curious. It makes me want to do the work in my own life. I want to catch this vibe but I also want to create my own vibe. I want to show up full and pour into and onto others. That is real empowerment. That's elevation. That's next level living.
If music, art, church, and even your conversations with your friends doesn't do that for you I want you to seriously re-evaluate what it is that you're doing. How are you spending your time? How are you spending your money? Do you sleep well at night? Do you have joy in your life? Do you feel fulfilled? Are you helping others? Can you even answer these questions?
If you can't, you have lots of soul work to do. But don't get down on yourself. We all have to step up and realize that there is so much more to life than eating good and dressing well. Sure good jobs allow us to do those things and if we're fortunate sometimes we have good connections to give us some perks as well. And with that I say to you don't go home wishing you were the plug. Don't go day after day dreaming of what you can do or talking about, "Someday I will". No, make someday TODAY.
I went on a bit of a rant there because I'm passionate about people living life to the fullest and realizing their potential. But let me get back specifically to what Erykah was speaking of in Danger and how it relates to me. It's not really a secret that as a young teen I had a thing for drug dealers. No joking they were my type. They had money, power and respect and I loved it. Not to mention their swag. They dressed well and drove nice cars so I wanted to be a part of that. Erykah mentions here that her man has this complex occupation that leaves her and their baby in a tough predicament. All money ain't good money. And apparently the brotha knows this because he can't sleep at night. He's nervous because in chasing fast money he is leaving the loves of his life at home. He's supposedly making a good life for them but he's not around because he's always grinding. He's having a crisis of conscience because he's really not living a good life and neither is his family. On top of that are the customers and of course his competition who he's serving destruction to. It's so many layers of danger. So they all have to ask themselves is it really worth it in the end.
I was attracted to the lifestyle because so often I had to hear about the shortages we had at home. There was no bill in my house that was getting paid in full and on time. Not one. The rent was late, the light bill got a partial payment which was late. Money had to be moved around to make ends meet. That was tough. And even though I was eyeing these guys in the street and secretly desired to have my own operation I knew it was too dangerous. And I was too pretty to go to jail. So I got on my school grind and later my corporate grind. I achieved success and made a name for myself as a smart and dedicated worker but I knew I wanted more. Unfortunately it just seemed like there were never enough hours in the day.
It wasn't until years and years later when I was forced to be still and get quiet that I listened to God speaking to my heart about what He wanted me to be in this life. I had to surrender. I had to let go of the selfish, narrow focused lifestyle and be willing to serve and build up my brothers and sisters. Now I live well and sleep well. My life is full of joy and great things. I'm beyond grateful. I got my block on lock.
atb
