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  • Writer's pictureArtisha Bolding

Actions speak louder than love songs.

Actions speak louder than love songs.

- John Legend

I am so happy to cover another of my favorites this week. John Legend is an amazing talent and when he's at his best he sends you floating up to the clouds. He has a song about that too, but that's not what we're talking about today. Today we're looking at some of his newer stuff. Let me say, as someone who was actually quarantined last year, I appreciate that John gave us some seriously good music while we were at home. And someone might get mad, but Bigger Love is the best music he's done in a long long time.

My friend said it best- when he got married to Chrissy Teigen it's like he turned from John Legend to John Mayer. I screamed laughing when she said because it's perfectly accurate. I don't knock anyone getting married and I have separate issues with Chrissy that have nothing to do with what we're discussing here. So I'll just say that whatever went down that made Bigger Love possible I certainly appreciate it. It got him back in his zone. I hope it wasn't too painful.

Now back to the Lyrics. at hand. I am a natural born doer. Corporate folks would call me driven or a self-starter so Actions speak to me all day. Don't just talk about it, BE about it. Until I can see proof that what you do backs up what you say, I'm gonna take you with a grain of salt. And that is especially so with things that are near and dear to me like family, ministry and business. I don't want any song and dance. I don't want any long drawn out explanation. I want you to do what you said. Don't tell me you love, value and appreciate me. SHOW ME. Show me what you working with. And I promise I will do the same. Mind you I love to write, I love to talk. I'm grateful and blessed that I get paid to do these things. Bless you Jesus! And even still I know the importance of my behavior matching my words.

This is really important in relationships and can tear a house down brick by brick if it's not in place. Gifts and smiles and "I'm sorry" only go so far. My girls have told me about the expensive bags and shoes they've got from dudes, even trips and jewelry. But what they really wanted all along was a faithful man that would come home at night. They wanted a man to tell the truth. They wanted a man to hold them and tell them everything would work out and then stand by their side while it actually worked out. I'm so sick of stories like these. I'm sick of the fake ideas of perfection in relationships which just lead to more broken promises and lies.

I consider myself a relationship expert of sorts. Not that I have all the answers, but I can tell you what works for me and the disasters that I've stepped in before, in hopes that you'll avoid them. For instance, I made a big deal about Me and Mr. B reading The 5 Love Languages before we got married. It's an excellent read that I've recommended to friends and clients. So we had this information filed away in our brains and we still proceeded to try to change each other, outsmart each other, and one-up each other those first couple of years. It was so weird and not a lot of fun. Eventually with lots of talks and even more prayer we turned the corner. I realized that it was not my place to try to convince him of what he should do and should like. It was my job to love him in a way that he could receive. It was my job to communicate with him clearly how I needed to be loved. It was my job to be consistent. And the same was true for Mr. B. We had a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do. The good news is we did it! Yes, we still have oversights and slip ups. Remember there's no such thing as perfect, at least not here on earth. I'm just excited that I have someone willing to grow with me and allow me to get better and better at this thing called love.


Photo of a Couple Lying on the Bed with Their Eyes Closed
Actions speak louder than love songs

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